It doesn't take a great deal in the way of time and rescources to improve your relationship. Here is a simple and often surprisingly speedy way to achieve this in just 20 minutes each day.
We all know deep down how much we love the people closest to us. The problem is we don't always show it Modern life is pressured and it's all too easy to get stressed. Over time having our life partner and other family members around becomes familiar and we don't always express how much they mean to us. This is understandable but undesirable.
I am often surprised even shocked at the way people speak and act in dealing with those closest to them. It's a fact that some people show more coutesy to strangers than their family members.
When this subject arises as it often does in my workshops or email feedback from my ecourse people often tell me that they behave like this because they feel that they can get away with it at home. This suggests that they are behaving in ways that would not be tolerated at their place of work or in other interpersonal situations.
It's a sad fact that these individuals are behaving in a worse manner around their families than almost anyone else they come into contact with!
Whilst their negative behaviour may appear to be tolerated it is resented and over time damages the relationships that are most precious to them. it's impossible to be on our best behaviour 24/7. We all at times say things that we don't mean?t mean to. The important thing is to show that we care so that our occasional lapses can be forgiven and forgotten. Those closest to us make lapses too of course. This means that they are able to understand that we are only human and sometimes get things wrong.
Psychologists know that there are two short intervals in the day when it is particularly important for a couple or family to enjoy a warm rapport. These are when we get up in the morning and when we return home at the end of the day.
A smile, a hug, a shared joke at these times will pay dividends in keeping your close relationships happy and healthy.
Finding a life partner is only the first step on the great adventure that you will share as a couple. It's equally importantant to keep your relationship happy and healthy. With care and attention you can have a relationship that not only stays happy and positive but gets better and better.
Wednesday, 10 June 2009
How To Find A Girlfriend That Really Matches Up To You
A lot of guys want to learn how to get a girlfriend and for many the process on how to get one eludes them. Some men come from a place of neediness, feeling incomplete or "like a loser" (as one of my readers once told me over the phone) if they do not have a girlfriend. If anyone is feeling that way then I tell them they are not ready to have a girlfriend. They first need to find out why they have this limiting belief. In reality, people should be content and happy by themselves and when they meet someone else, that person only adds to level on contentment and happiness. It is not healthy to place one's own happiness on another human being.
So the very first step to finding a girlfriend that matches up to you is to first work on yourself. Now what does that mean exactly? Does that mean you should not date anyone? Well, it depends on how much emotional stability you have. I advise men to get their "act together" first before diving back into the dating scene. Specifically, they should spend some time alone, like a weekend, and take out a notebook / journal / whatever you want to call it, and write down the things that are important to them and write down their goals in life.
Once that is all figured out then you can write down exactly the type of woman you will need to find to compliment those goals. As an over-simplified example, let us say that your goal is to travel the world for a couple of years. So you would want to find a woman has a similar goal or you should be single while you are traveling, this way you can hook up or have casual relationships that suit your needs. Once you have figured out what type of woman you want then you can begin looking for you. Now bear in mind that the more women you date, the more you will learn about yourself and about what you want in a woman.
I can tell you from my own life experience that what I thought I wanted in a woman at age 18 changed a lot when I turned 21 and changed even more when I turned 30. Why? Because of life experience. This is why I am not a big fan of falling in love with the first person that likes you and then getting serious with them. I truly believe that most men should date an assortment of women and should not get married until they reach a certain maturity level. There is no magic age, but I generally recommend that men not get married before age 30. Ths increases the odds greatly that you will have a better understanding on what kind of woman you want.
The next step is to begin expanding your social network. Sometimes all it takes is making one or tow new male or female friends that will introduce you to a whole world of new faces. It's a good idea to have a life. So if you are the type of person that works too much it is time to take a step back and readjust your priorities. All work and no play really makes Jack a dull and boring boy. Women like men who have other interests and passions, so make sure you find out what yours are.
Once you begin dating, with the intent of getting a girlfriend, make sure that you are spending your time wisely. For example, I once dated this woman and I thought everything was going well until about 3 months into it she demanded that we move in together. I told her it was too soon and that I would never think of moving in with anyone until I got to know them better. She got angry and said that if we did not take the relationship to the next level that she would leave. I told her "well, if you are going to be this immature about it then it is best that you leave."
She did not leave, but I made it a point to break it off with her. I do not respond well to unreasonable ultimatums. So do not waste your time with the wrong person, but all it is doing is keeping you from finding the right girlfriend for you.
So the very first step to finding a girlfriend that matches up to you is to first work on yourself. Now what does that mean exactly? Does that mean you should not date anyone? Well, it depends on how much emotional stability you have. I advise men to get their "act together" first before diving back into the dating scene. Specifically, they should spend some time alone, like a weekend, and take out a notebook / journal / whatever you want to call it, and write down the things that are important to them and write down their goals in life.
Once that is all figured out then you can write down exactly the type of woman you will need to find to compliment those goals. As an over-simplified example, let us say that your goal is to travel the world for a couple of years. So you would want to find a woman has a similar goal or you should be single while you are traveling, this way you can hook up or have casual relationships that suit your needs. Once you have figured out what type of woman you want then you can begin looking for you. Now bear in mind that the more women you date, the more you will learn about yourself and about what you want in a woman.
I can tell you from my own life experience that what I thought I wanted in a woman at age 18 changed a lot when I turned 21 and changed even more when I turned 30. Why? Because of life experience. This is why I am not a big fan of falling in love with the first person that likes you and then getting serious with them. I truly believe that most men should date an assortment of women and should not get married until they reach a certain maturity level. There is no magic age, but I generally recommend that men not get married before age 30. Ths increases the odds greatly that you will have a better understanding on what kind of woman you want.
The next step is to begin expanding your social network. Sometimes all it takes is making one or tow new male or female friends that will introduce you to a whole world of new faces. It's a good idea to have a life. So if you are the type of person that works too much it is time to take a step back and readjust your priorities. All work and no play really makes Jack a dull and boring boy. Women like men who have other interests and passions, so make sure you find out what yours are.
Once you begin dating, with the intent of getting a girlfriend, make sure that you are spending your time wisely. For example, I once dated this woman and I thought everything was going well until about 3 months into it she demanded that we move in together. I told her it was too soon and that I would never think of moving in with anyone until I got to know them better. She got angry and said that if we did not take the relationship to the next level that she would leave. I told her "well, if you are going to be this immature about it then it is best that you leave."
She did not leave, but I made it a point to break it off with her. I do not respond well to unreasonable ultimatums. So do not waste your time with the wrong person, but all it is doing is keeping you from finding the right girlfriend for you.
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